Why is change so hard? Because our survival instincts tell us change involves uncertainty and therefore, we may not feel safe making changes. Or doubt we can do it, so we stay stuck. But staying stuck doesn’t feel good either.
Whether it’s trying to incorporate more time to connect with God, eat mindfully, or move your body, uncertainty’s fears & doubts can make it seem impossible to move forward with your goals. Here are some simple, practical tips to help you break through those fears and doubts, allowing you to glide forward and make change easier.
Re-examining Limiting Beliefs
Sometimes we just need to take a moment to step back and take a closer look. Leaning into most fears and doubts that keep us from moving forward, we realize most of them aren’t the mountains we make them out to be. They’re really just limiting beliefs ingrained in our hearts & minds with good intentions to keep us safe.
One major limiting belief as a major stumbling block for me and my clients is thinking “I need all the answers before I can take one step forward.”
I agree it can be true to a point. The problem is that we get stuck worrying about all the little details and what-ifs we haven’t worked out yet. It keeps us frozen like a deer in the headlights. But it doesn’t have to be like this.
I’ve used several strategies with my clients to help them feel safe moving forward before they have every little detail worked out. When this limiting belief is reduced from a mountain to a mole hill, that can be easily stepped over, moving forward seems effortless.
One strategy is to get curious about what the fears & doubts are all about, instead of letting them feel overwhelming. Are they valid? Just because you tried an aerobics class 5 years ago & didn’t like it, doesn’t mean you can never try any kind of aerobics again. Maybe it was the instructor? The other people in the class? Wrong time of day? Or maybe you didn’t care for the complicated dance steps (aerobics takes on many different forms).
By getting curious & asking what exactly didn’t work, you diffuse the power fear & doubt has over trying aerobics again. You can then pivot and try something else that sounds more enjoyable.
Safe to Experiment
Another tactic to move forward when you think you don’t have enough answers is to adopt a ‘Safe to Experiment’ mentality. This is especially true when you think you need do it ‘perfectly’ the first time or forget it.
But how often does anyone get anything perfectly right the 1st time around?
It’s just as important to learn what doesn’t work as figuring out what does work. After 10,000 ‘failed’ attempts to invent the light bulb, Thomas Edison was famous for saying, “I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that didn’t work.”
Maybe going for a walk 1st thing in the morning doesn’t work well for you. Instead of scrapping walking all together, try walking after work, taking a different route, or asking a friend to go with you as an accountability partner.
Adopting an experimental or safe to try attitude negates the fear of failure and easily allows you to move forward without needing all the answers.
Writing things down, getting curious, asking questions and asking God to guide you challenges fears & doubts. Getting thoughts out of your head and on the page will help you unearth a lot of the answers you need to move forward. Seeing things in black & white also helps you see things from a different perspective.
Just like it’s so much easier to see what others need to do. Journaling can help you step back and see those simple things you can do to easily move forward with the changes you want to make.
One of the quickest and most effective ways to overcome fears & doubts when you want to make change is with coaching. Most people think coaching is telling people what to do. That is health education. Most people already know what to do (unless you’re leaning something new). Coaching is a partnership that can provide education and, more importantly, helps you figure out what works for you.
During coaching sessions, I help clients get curious and explore those fears & doubts in a safe environment. This allows them to find ways to make the healthy choice the easy and enjoyable choice. It really makes my day when I can help a client to help reduce those mountains into molehills they can easily step over and move forward with confidence. By helping clients tap into what God is calling them to do, we come up with a game plan that leaves them excited & motivated to take that 1st step. (Which, by the way, is usually the most challenging!) In short, I help them feel safe experimenting as they continue to move forward and make the changes they know will improve their health.
Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation
Are there changes you’d like to make, but you just can’t seem to make any progress? Maybe it’s time to give coaching a try. I offer a variety of packages including Free 20-minute Discovery Calls (or consults) to learn more about you & your goals and let you know if health coaching can help make them a reality. If you don’t see a time that works for you, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to request a different time.
What are you waiting for? Check out my calendar and book a Free Discovery Call. Learn more about what health coaching can do to kick-start your efforts to create the happy, active, vibrant life you really want –and God really wants for you!
Photo by Gerd Altman on Pixabay