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Many women struggle to confidently love themselves and their bodies as they truly are, a precious, beloved, chosen child of God living in a body that is a Temple of God’s very Holy Spirit.  It’s one the most common obstacles to creating healthy habits that stick long term.  

Why?  Do we really want to take of something we don’t like?  We don’t love?  Think of those people whom you love.  How much easier is it to take care of one of them than it is someone who you don’t like? 

As a universal need, love is an essential human need.  When we feel loved, we’re more apt to move forward in life.  Not live in fear, doubt, guilt.  Not turn to food, adult beverages, shopping, or other addictive behavior as we go ‘looking for love in all the wrong places,’ as Johnny Lee sings in his 1980 hit song.  

As Christians, we know God is love.  But how do you love yourself without feeling selfish, narcissistic, prideful or even ashamed of yourself?  What do you do to fill yourself up with love so you can find peace in your heart to make the changes you want to make.  Take care of the people you want to take care of.  Do the things you want to do.

The key is to do it humbly, knowing you are a child of God.  With gratitude for yourself, your body so you can share God’s love with others.  All for his glory.

But how do you give yourself self love?  Make it meaningful?  Do it humbly?  So you can be the happy, active, vibrant woman God is calling you to be?  

One way is by knowing your love language.  How do you give and receive love?  Gary Chapman discovered and wrote a book titled 5 Love Languages about the 5 most common ways we give and receive love.  

The 5 Love Languages-According to Gary Chapman

  • Quality Time
  • Touch
  • Acts of Service
  • Gifts
  • Words of Affirmation

I wrote about how you can use the 5 Love Languages to pray often, eat well & move more during Lent 2 years ago.  You can read more about that here.  

This month, I want to take a deeper dive into each language and explore some ways you can fill yourself up with love (with God) that are meaningful and fulfilling to you.  This article focuses on Quality Time. 

Quality Time-Just Being

If your main love language is Quality Time, you feel good when others just take time to spend with you.  You don’t have to do anything special, but if that other person chooses to do something with you that you really enjoy-WOW!  You know you are loved.  

I think our oldest grandson’s main love language is Quality Time.  He loves it when somebody just plays with him.  Drives the tractor & gravity box up to the combine he’s running as he ‘unloads’ the corn or beans into the wagon.  

Building something or helping him search for a specific Lego piece as he builds something.  He also does not like to play or be in a room by himself.  Even if the door is open and other people are just a shout & a few steps away.  

While that’s not my main love language, I honor his language and help him know he is loved by just spending time with him.  

Many men have this as their main language.  They like to get together and just be.  Doesn’t matter if they ‘do’ anything or not.  It could just be watching the game together.  No deep talk, no big project to work on, no gifts exchanged, no hugs.  Just time.  

I know many men who love it when their wives just sit with them as they watch a sporting event, or a movie, or whatever.  

Women who share this love language are no different.  They just want to spend time with those they love.  It doesn’t have to do anything special, just be together.  Although… it is an added bonus if your companions are willing to spend time with you doing something you want to do.

Spending Quality Time with God

Jesus asks us to spend quality time with him, God & the Holy Spirit.  He regularly took time to go off by himself.  To take time to pray, talk to God the Father.  To tune into the Holy Spirit.  Be One with the Father & the Spirit.  

He spent 40 days in the dessert as he started his ministry. Went to the Garden to pray the night he was arrested and invited Peter, James & John to keep watch with him.  Just to spend time with him, supporting him in his time of need.  

He also invited his apostles to do the same.

Jesus said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a deserted place & rest a while.”  People were coming and going in great numbers, and they had no opportunity to even eat. 

Mark 6:31 (NASB)

The people just wanted to spend time with them, too.  To just be in their presence.  

If Quality Time is you main love language, how can you show yourself and your body love?

Showing Yourself Love with Quality Time

There’s a gazillion ways to give yourself love through Quality Time. Here are a few things that come to mind:

  • Quiet time alone with God in prayer
  • Make a date with someone at least once a week
  • Spend time doing something you enjoy-this includes quiet time to yourself
  • Go for a walk to talk to God, walk with Jesus, notice the Holy Spirit living and moving all around you
  • Notice how many times a day God pops up to say Hi! To you in a variety of ways, letting you know you are never alone
  • Spending time in meditative prayer
  • Spending time listening to guided meditations that help you appreciate yourself & your body
  • Spend time appreciating & thanking yourself for the time you took to pray, eat well & move your body
  • Spend time cooking to nourish your body as an act of love for it
  • Spend time moving your body as an act of love for it
  • Appreciating the time you took to read this article, to spend time journaling, to spend time with your family, spend time creating a warm and welcoming place to live (aka cleaning & decluttering)
  • Appreciating the time you spend using your gifts, talents & charisms doing what you love either through volunteering, work or hobby that make this world a better place.

What else can you think of? 

Let me know in the comments!  Your comment may be the exact thing that sparks inspiration in someone else, so don’t be afraid to share.

Ash Wednesday is Coming Up on March 2nd!

If you’re looking to spend some quality time with Jesus, renewing & cultivating your heart for new life in Christ, check out my Free Lenten Journey with Jesus.  It has weekly themes with journaling prompts and limited availability to different scripture based guided meditations to guide you throughout this season of renewal.  The Complete Journey has all this plus 11 more guided meditations as well as unlimited lifetime access to the entire program and downloadable versions of the meditations.  As an added bonus, the Complete Lenten Journey with Jesus is also over 20% off through March 6th, 2022!  

If you’re a past participle of these programs there’s no need to sign up again, unless you want to upgrade or have unsubscribed from my mailings.  

Wishing you much love as you spend quality time with those you love (including yourself and God) and doing the things you love to fill yourself with love as we enjoy the journey!  

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